Praise him for his mighty deeds; praise him according to his excellent greatness!

I've been thinking a lot about the past tonight and I'm really astounded at how much God has done in my life and continues to do. I still know that without the loving discipline of the Holy Spirit I would forsake social morality out of my own insatiable desires. I walked in the passions of my flesh for so long with not a worry, and I don't for a second imagine that I'm not still capable. Without God, there is no one to serve but me. Even acknowledging God exists is not enough - we are all capable of deceiving ourselves and suppressing the truth just enough to remain comfortable in all the sinful stuff that we consider fun. I love God because first loved me. Not the other way around. It's not as if God was waiting around for me to go "OK i'm done with this scene, think I'll give God a try". Had God not wrought a work in me I would still be where I was. More than likely a whole lot worse. And if God where to abandon me tonight I have no doubts that I'd plunge myself headlong back into the slime of my former life without a hesitation. Thanks be to God that He's promised not to do that. Thanks be to God that he sent his Son to live a perfect life on this earth and then to be nailed to a wooden cross to pay for my filth. And then to raise him from death on that glorious Sunday as proof that he will raise those that are his. It's incredible.

My heart's desire is to know and love God. The God who's not defined by me or my wants. The God that IS. But not because I'm better than anyone. Not because I have some spark of good in me that seeks to know the truth. But because God out of his tremendous mercy has called me out of the darkness and into his glorious light. I'm a weak, feeble, cowardly sinner with nothing to offer. Not one thing. But I've been given everything.