Bad parenting.

So I've been thinking a lot lately about my lack of patience, consistency etc. towards my kids, and I've come to the realization that I'm a bad father. Simple. I'm trying, but a lot of the time I'm more concerned with my own wants and needs than what is good for my kids. I was feeling all down and stuff but then it dawned on me: If you are a father, you are a bad one. Sorry if you hadn't already realized that but it's true. Be honest. How often are you impatient with your kids? Don't have time for your kids? Are more interested in the game or some movie than your kids? Hey, even if you put your kids on a pedestal and give them everything they want you're gonna give em some kind of complex that the world will not uphold for them as they get older. Bad bad bad. Your kids are gonna have some baggage from your bad parenting. I'm willing to bet that if you spend some time on it you can probably figure out some bad character traits and emotional junk you inherited from your bad dad.

Here's the good news.

There is only one who is a good Father. And he's willing and ready to adopt your kids. He's perfectly patient, perfectly consistent, and perfectly just. (By the way - your kids suck too, but this father has provided a way for that to be taken care of.)

The God of the Bible is that perfect Father. And through the death and resurrection of Jesus Christ his Son your kids can be accepted as his kids.

The single greatest thing that an earthly father can do for his children is to point them to Christ and to a relationship with a Father that will never let them down and never abandon them. Teach your kids that repentance and faith in the resurrected Son of God is their only hope at a truly good Father. We will fail our kids in so many ways. But God will not. Our fathers failed us in many ways. But God the Father will never fail us. His love is steadfast, his promises sure.

For he chose us in him before the creation of the world to be holy and blameless in his sight. In love he predestined us to be adopted as his sons through Jesus Christ, in accordance with his pleasure and will to the praise of his glorious grace, which he has freely given us in the One he loves. In him we have redemption through his blood, the forgiveness of sins, in accordance with the riches of God's grace that he lavished on us with all wisdom and understanding. (Ephesians 1:4-8 NIV)

Faith?

I've been listening to some lectures/debates on textual criticism of the New Testament. It's very interesting learning how scholars take the manuscripts and catalog the variants. Something to think about: we don't have the original NT. We simply don't, and we never will. We have I believe a close proximity to the originals and I certainly believe we have what we need for faith and practice. But it does bring up an interesting point - we have faith that we have enough of the original scripture to base our belief in Christ off of. It's so tempting to try and justify our faith by intellectual means and historical data. And we do have both of those things, but there IS a chance - ever so small, that it's wrong. We believe that Jesus Christ was a man, we believe that he was the incarnate Son of God, and we believe that he died on a cross and was raised from the dead. The fact remains however, that we have faith in something we can not definitively prove. We have no video evidence, we can't go back in time and find Jesus and check the story out.

I like hearing about how much manuscript tradition we have to back up the history of the Christian faith - there's not to many people kicking around that deny that Jesus was a real guy. And when you look at the historical manuscripts of the NT that are available to us there is certainly evidence for the death and resurrection. But the reality is that we can't prove it any more than we can definitively prove God exists. Or any more than we can prove the big bang or evolution or anything like that. It all comes down to faith. Faith that an impossibly random sequence of events led to our existence as purposeless living beings, or faith in a creator God who sent his Son to save us from our sins.

Faith. We can sit back all we want and say "I decided that Christianity made the most sense of all the religions so I chose it." but it still comes down to faith. Are we really gonna spend our lives for Christ if all we're basing our faith on is a bunch of fragments of papyri from hundreds of years ago? I can't see it. I don't think I would.

The reason I'm a Christian is that God dragged me out of my wicked life and granted me a faith to believe in his only Son. The faith to put my trust in Him and throw my chips in with a bunch of other sinners who were dragged out of darkness too. To fight the sin day after day that I know would give me all kinds of earthly pleasure and happiness right now. Christianity is not more fun than being secular, if you want loads of pleasure and fun now - stay out of church. God did this to me. I didn't see lights, I didn't hear voices. But I believe. I didn't wake up one day, study all the evidence and come to some kind of intellectual surrender to the overwhelming flood of proof. But I believe. I'm finding more and more that there is real hard evidence that the history of Christianity is true, but that had little or nothing to do with my conversion. God opened my heart to believe the good news of Jesus Christ and so I believe.

Soli Deo Gloria!

Long my imprisoned spirit lay,

Fast bound in sin and nature's night;

Thine eye diffused a quickening ray -

I woke, the dungeon flamed with light;

My chains fell off, my heart was free,

I rose, went forth, and followed Thee.

-Charles Wesley

while we were yet sinners...

And they made his grave with the wicked and with a rich man in his death, although he had done no violence, and there was no deceit in his mouth. Yet it was the will of the LORD to crush him; he has put him to grief; when his soul makes an offering for guilt, he shall see his offspring; he shall prolong his days; the will of the LORD shall prosper in his hand. (Isaiah 53:9-10 ESV)

I read Psalm 22 tonight and it was kinda milling around in my head a bit... My thoughts wandered to the idea of God the Father willingly crushing his Son, his perfect Son whom he had enjoyed for eternity, all for a pack of good for nothing God-hating sinners. It's truly an incredible thing. I have kids, and they're by no means perfect - actually lots of times very frustrating. But I definitely don't entertain the thought of crushing them. Especially not on behalf of someone who hates me (of which, unfortunately, I'm sure there are a few). And those kids are both little sinners who whine and cry about the dumbest stuff, I love em, but some days they push it.

God the Father spent eternity being perfectly infinitely happy with Jesus before creating the world. And then he created the first man, who promptly failed to lead his wife and plunged all of humanity into death and darkness. God of course knew that this was going to happen and already planned to send his Son, his perfect Son, to die on a cross to redeem some of these wretched miserable humans. And he crushed him. Devastating punishment on the perfect Lamb of God to atone for the sins of a bunch of rebels who don't even think they need atonement. Incredible. I can't do it justice with words. So here I sit in awe of the wonderful mercy of God Most High. Moments like these make everything else seem to fade just a bit. In the light of eternity my day to day cares and tasks seem so pale.

For one will scarcely die for a righteous person--though perhaps for a good person one would dare even to die-- but God shows his love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us. (Romans 5:7-8 ESV)

God the Father crushed God the Son for sinners. I'm ashamed that that doesn't affect me more than it does.

God's priorities...

Then he (Jesus) began to denounce the cities where most of his mighty works had been done, because they did not repent. "Woe to you, Chorazin! Woe to you, Bethsaida! For if the mighty works done in you had been done in Tyre and Sidon, they would have repented long ago in sackcloth and ashes. But I tell you, it will be more bearable on the day of judgment for Tyre and Sidon than for you. And you, Capernaum, will you be exalted to heaven? You will be brought down to Hades. For if the mighty works done in you had been done in Sodom, it would have remained until this day. But I tell you that it will be more tolerable on the day of judgment for the land of Sodom than for you." (Matthew 11:20-24 ESV)

Here we have Jesus telling people that the judgement will be less for those in Sodom and Gomorrah than for those who saw Jesus' works and heard the gospel and did not repent. So what's the deal with Sodom? Here's an excerpt from the story of Lot in Genesis. Lot lived in Sodom, and a couple of angels (who have come to tell him that God is going to destroy Sodom) are staying at his house. This is what the men of Sodom get up to:

'But before they lay down, the men of the city, the men of Sodom, both young and old, all the people to the last man, surrounded the house. And they called to Lot, "Where are the men who came to you tonight? Bring them out to us, that we may know them."' (Genesis 19:4-5 ESV)

For those curious as to what "that we may know them" refers to I direct you to the account of Adam and Eve.

Now Adam knew Eve his wife, and she conceived and bore Cain, saying, "I have gotten a man with the help of the LORD." (Genesis 4:1 ESV)

The men of Sodom are planning on raping Lot's guests.

So here we have Jesus telling the cities he's visited that the judgement will be easier for Sodom than for them. Shocking stuff.

God is more angry about the rejection of the saving work of Christ than he is about rape.

Flee the wrath to come. Repent.

P.S.

Now of course it should also be noted that God also wiped out Sodom with fire and brimstone, so I'm not downplaying the seriously evil abhorrent nature of rape. The point stands, however.

Natural man

Natural man is so enslaved to his sin that he will not turn from it at any cost. This just hit me today as I was thinking about my son and the discipline he endures for doing stuff that he knows is wrong, knows he'll get disciplined for it but does anyhow. Stupid stuff that isn't even fun. I say don't touch the phone and he looks straight at me and with on finger touches it. What purpose is there in that? Was touching the phone so much fun that it's worth the discipline that is sure to come? He has such a rebel's heart that he is irrational in his disobedience. Ok, ok I realize he's 2 and he doesn't think this stuff through in the same way that a grown man would but there's still a spark of understanding there. He can't help but be bad because it's in his blood. He's incapable of being truly good because he's got a little heart of stone.

Anyway, all this led me to think about grown sinner's like myself (and everyone else on earth for that matter). We are in the same predicament as my son. We all begin our lives with that heart of stone that will not submit to the authority of God that is over us. Not just will not, but can not. We hate the idea that we're not autonomous so much that we would never dream of submitting to the true God out of our own volition. Some preachers preach hell like it's a way to scare people into turning to God. "You don't want to go to hell do you?" is a line some use when witnessing. Nobody really wants to spend eternity in torment if there's a better option, lets face it, and most people brush this off with vain speculations that a 'good' God would never punish people for eternity in hell. But here's the reality. If it was granted me to have the keys to hell (and directions to it's gates) and I were to show sinners the torments of it, it still would not be enough to convince the sinner to turn from his sin and worship the true God in the way he must be worshiped. I'm not saying that men would not seek to find a way to avoid it, like I said, no one really wants to spend eternity in torment. But I am saying this: man in his natural fallen state hates submitting to the authority of the true triune God of the universe so much that hell is still better than a heaven where all creation praises Him for eternity. Hell is not an adequate deterrent to the natural man from his natural ways. I could show the unsaved the very chambers of hell and he still would not turn from his sin to worship God. Oh sure, he might make some show of repentance hoping to appease God, he might become an outwardly religious zealot. But inside he's dead. In the words of our Lord: "Woe to you, scribes and Pharisees, hypocrites! For you are like whitewashed tombs, which outwardly appear beautiful, but within are full of dead people's bones and all uncleanness." Those scribes and Pharisees were the most outwardly religious guys around in Jesus' day. But the truth remains that inside they were wrought with sin and unrighteousness. And given the choice between true worship of the true God for eternity or an eternity in hell - he'd choose hell every single time. "Give me liberty or give me death" becomes the sinners motto when facing the reality of this. If we must sacrifice our autonomy (or delusions thereof) to escape eternal death, we won't. We can't because we are so opposed in our fallen hearts to the God of god's. The only solution, the only way that a man enslaved to sin will turn to God in true faith and repentance is if God does something to him, that if given the choice in his natural state he would never allow. God must rip that heart of stone from his chest and replace it with a new heart. A heart that is capable of receiving the faith and repentance (also from God) that leads to eternal life. Then and only then will we be truly able to turn to the only God worthy of worship and submit to him in love. Only then are we capable of desiring a heaven where heaven and earth proclaim the excellence and majesty of it's Creator. Only then will we be able to say with the Psalmist: "One thing have I asked of the LORD, that will I seek after: that I may dwell in the house of the LORD all the days of my life, to gaze upon the beauty of the LORD and to inquire in his temple. "(Psalm 27:4 ESV)

I can't convert anyone. Not with any means known to man, not with good arguments, not with the sword, not with trickery, not with emotional excitements, not even if it were possible to show him heaven and hell. That's God's thing, and only God's.

For the mind that is set on the flesh is hostile to God, for it does not submit to God's law; indeed, it cannot. (Romans 8:7 ESV)

Turbulent Unhappiness...

"Whatever kind of tribulation presses upon us, we must ever look to this end: to accustom ourselves to contempt for the present life and to be aroused thereby to meditate upon the future life... then only do we rightly advance by the discipline of the cross, when we learn that this life, judged in itself, is troubled, turbulent, unhappy in countless ways, and in no respect clearly happy; that all those things which are judged to be its goods are uncertain, fleeting, vain, and vitiated by many intermingled evils." - John Calvin

How right he is, this life never fails to in its own self disappoint. Life alone, by itself without purpose or meaning is such desperate futility. The new vehicle I buy gets scratched, the new shirt I bought just isn't the same after I wash it, and every time I try to do something good it winds up marred by my own arrogance or annoyance at something trivial that gets in my way. How did I live before? Looking back it seems so distant though it was only a short few years ago... What was there to look forward to then that kept the despair at bay? Must have just managed to stay busy enough not to think about it. Life by itself without hope is such a waste... Don't get me wrong I'm not ungrateful. God has given us so many good things in this life to enjoy. However, unless they are enjoyed with a thankfulness to the Giver and an idea of what they point to in eternity the pleasure of such things fades rather quickly. It saddens me to see people chasing dreams that I know will not satisfy them. If they only new the One who can give true peace and rest.

Hope from the depths.

Another day gone by, another failure. A failed attempt at battling sin, with not a lot of thought to positive action. Pretty standard fair for my life. It never ceases to amaze me how delusional I once was, thinking that me and God would somehow work things out at some point. Every day without relent I come face to face with the old me. The old me that wants to rip apart everything God has built in my life. The me that waits for the new man that God has made me to relax for a minute, to get complacent and lazy so he can bust out and try and drag me back into the darkness of my past. Oh he gets weaker but I'm positive he'll never go away until I see the Lord. I hate that guy. I pray to God that I'd hate him more. The only thing that keeps me going is the "It is finished" yelled from the broken dying man on a cross some two thousand plus years ago. It is finished - the totality of that sacrifice at Golgotha ensures the death of the old me. The guarantee of my salvation and the assurance of my hope comes from the reality of the risen Christ, and the Spirit within me that cries from the depths of day to day "Abba, Father". I am no longer a slave, but a son and an heir with the one that paid for every stupid rebellious thing I've done and do day in and day out. Why? Not for anything in me thats for sure. I haven't got a doubt that I'm a step away from damnation. The only thing that keeps me from taking that step is the gracious will of God that sovereignly keeps me in his hands.

It boggles me to imagine how people go through their day thinking that they'll be good enough that God won't condemn them. Don't get me wrong, I'm not judging - I was there. But it's an insane position to take. Even now when I look at my changed life I still see so much of it worthy of condemnation and infinite punishment. People must just live better lives than I do day to day to think that they'll somehow talk God into letting them off the hook on that last day. Or they're deluded into thinking that some prayer they prayed in the past is their get out of hell free card. The devil is so sneaky. I heard it said once that if Satan had his way everyone would live morally upright lives for the most part, the liquor and porn stores would close down and the American dream would be an easy reality (thats not the quote but a hack paraphrase). That's the exact kind of world where people get lulled into thinking that they're gonna be alright. That God's gonna be maybe mildly disappointed they didn't do more good stuff, but certainly not so mad as to throw them into eternal hellfire. Sometimes I think the reason that God lets so much evil and madness go on is so that we get a glimpse into what we really are. The saddest thing is that we're so blind we don't see it. In our natural state we see evil and either blame God for it or use it as an argument against God. "How could God let that child be murdered?" We don't really think that if there is no holy God that dictates what's right and what's wrong then child murder isn't really evil, it's just an unfortunate effect of natural selection. Someone with better genes weeding out someone weaker's offspring. Maybe not so unfortunate: wouldn't want someone who can't defend their own family from predators to reproduce after all. It's a bleak, scary world-view when taken to its logical ends.

Having said all that, I'm clinging to Christ. Only because God keeps me clinging to Christ. I have a bad, rotten, sinful day and at the end of it when I feel like giving up I can get on my knees before my heavenly Father and with the Psalmist say:

Out of the depths I cry to you, O LORD! O Lord, hear my voice! Let your ears be attentive to the voice of my pleas for mercy! If you, O LORD, should mark iniquities, O Lord, who could stand? But with you there is forgiveness, that you may be feared. I wait for the LORD, my soul waits, and in his word I hope; my soul waits for the Lord more than watchmen for the morning, more than watchmen for the morning. O Israel, hope in the LORD! For with the LORD there is steadfast love, and with him is plentiful redemption. And he will redeem Israel from all his iniquities. (Psalm 130:1-8 ESV)

I wait and watch. In my failures which invariably outweigh my triumphs I have hope. More than watchmen for the morning I watch for Christ coming in his glory. Oh for that day...